New Years Pranks
December 1999

No doubt that everyone is gonna get all fucked up this New Years...being how it is 1999, and we all promised 17 years ago that we would party like mad at this time (you know you did, stop lying!).

Well, with that in mind, I'm sure that someone you party with will get too drunk and pass out. (This person is usually me!) Here are some fun things to do to them that will probably cause them to move out of the state.

Things you'll need:

Alcohol, lots of it A camera, with film One dozen hotdogs, not frozen, preferably warm. Mayonnaise, warm One friend, passed out. Many friends, not passed out.

Directions:

1) Gather around your fallen comrade and smear mayonnaise on his/her lips and face.

2) Stand over him/her whilst holding the hotdog like a phallus.

3) Have a different friend take the picture if you don't have a timer on the camera.

3a) Remember to smile! This is for posterity, afterall.

4) Eat the hotdog

Some Variations:

A) If this friend passes out on his/her stomach, pull their pants down (or their skirt up!) to expose their bottom. Apply mayonnaise generously. Continue with step 2 from above. Eat the hotdog.

B) Stand over fallen comrade with the hotdog in phallus position. Slap your friend on the lips and face until he/she wakes up. When the friend finally does wake up, act surprised and quickly turn your body away as if to hide your nakedness. Eat the hotdog.

C) Unzip the fly of a friend and insert hotdog. Snap the picture. Mayonnaise is optional on this variation because some friends don't want mayo on their pants. Eat the hotdog. Actually...no. Don't eat the hotdog unless this is a VERY close friend of yours.

Summary:

Naturally this sort of fun might seem reserved only for the gentlemen. It actually is much MORE fun for the ladies! Try it, let me know how it goes. Let me see the pictures, too. Also, the hotdog can be substituted with salami, pepperoni, kielbasa, empty paper towel tubes, and banana's...depending on you race. Fritz does realize that some janks are larger and darker than other janks.