People Are Dumb
September 2003

People are dumb, and so much of it is their own fault. I used to assume everyone had brain damage, but now I think everyone has no brain…therefore no brain damage. I blame organized religion for this, but to be honest…I blame organized religion for everything. I don't know what this has to do with anything, but it makes sense to blame the problems of the world on antique and oppressive teachings that have greatly outgrown their usefulness. Let me elaborate on that last thought a bit more.

Nah, I changed my mind. No one listens to me anyway.

What would happen if all the farmers, all the truckers, and all the blue collar working fucks just suddenly quit and got service/retail jobs at fucking Target or Ponderosa? I don't feel that our current voting system speaks loud enough to the people in charge, what is needed for the suits to take notice is utter chaos. Someone needs to drive them out of their nice soft beds and make them sweat. If no one in this country produced food or moved raw materials, everything would come to a grinding halt because we, as a culture, have become very accustomed to Instant Gratification. We wouldn't be able to get our fresh veggies or boneless buffalo wings if there was no one growing celery or raising chickens.

I'm not a socialist, but perhaps the workers of the world SHOULD unite. Just this once, for me, I really don't ask for much.

Only in America is a microwave oven not fast enough. We're so used to being able to do, say, or obtain anything we want at the exact moment the thought comes to mind, we're all like a bunch of fucking Hollywood diva princesses. Pay-per-views, cell phones with built in cameras, ordering pizza delivery online, cable modems, etc. If we can't have it NOW, we don't want it. If only a few more of us would stop, look around, and realize how much we are behaving like children…well, shit…I wouldn't have anything to talk about then.

Wait, why do I keep using 'we' when the problem is clearly 'you fuckers'? Start over again and read every 'we' as 'you fuckers' and do it in a Scottish accent. Don't ask why, just fucking do it.

Word on the street is that in a few short years, we'll all be working mandatory 6-day workweeks, 48 hours, with no overtime pay, thanks to our loving president. Suddenly a life of crime doesn't seem like such a bad idea, does it? I don't mind working over, but sometimes it'd be nice to spend some of that money I'm making, rather than being chained to a wall and beaten like a corporate sex slave, or a government intern.

Of course this is all moot, anyway. I work for the government...technically. My paychecks say Unemployment Compensation, but they also have the seal of the state of Pennsylvania...so I work for the state. Fuck you. I'm paid by the state to sleep and complain, the two things I do best.